Duncan: Time for breakfast, Charlie.
Charlie: *half-resentful* Breakfast? Well, if the jeep hadn't broken down, we'd be eating at Louisa's Diner in Olympia, and I'd be smothered in hash browns and not mosquito bites. How'd you sleep?
Duncan: Like a baby, man.
Charlie: Sh-Yeah, well, figures.
Duncan: *chuckles* [scoops fish from pan onto plate] Ooh. You hungry?
Charlie: Yeah, hungry? I could eat a horse.
Duncan: *proudly* Well, it's not a horse this morning, Charlie. It's trout. [hands plate to him] Oh, careful, it's hot.
Charlie: *looks at contents* Trout... and jam, man?
Duncan: Yeah. What's the matter? Don't you want it?
Charlie: *exasperated* Well, not for breakfast. Come on! [hands plate back]
Duncan: Do you know the nutritional value in trout?
Charlie: *scoffs* Oh--
1:05 Keith: Alriiiiight! Welcome back to Highlander Rewatched! It has been a while since we've, uh, talked to everybody!
Kyle: It's been a whiiiile.
Keith: Yes! I'm one of your Rewatchers! I'm Keith!
Kyle: This is Kyle!
Eamon: This is Eamon.
Keith: And uh, yeah, we've uh... we've taken kind of a little bit of a sabbatical I guess, for the, uh, the summer. We've all been busy. What've you guys been up to? How's your summer been?
Kyle: Oh, you know. Living the dream.
Keith: Kyle, you moved. That's exciting, right?
Kyle: NO! It sucks! *laughter* **Keith: Ah, well--** But it's over, now. **Keith: Well--** So, being settled is good.
Keith: Being settled. It's good stuff. Doing anything this summer, Eamon? See any good movies?
Eamon: No... *laughter*
Kyle: I honestly... I'm not sure I saw any good movies this summer.
Eamon: I'm trying to think of it...
Kyle: Actually, no. I just saw 'Don't Think Twice'. That was good. **Eamon: Oooh!** 'Suicide Squad'... Nnnnnnnn...
Keith: We saw that together.
Eamon: That's the one.
Kyle: Yeah, that was not...
Eamon: I still want to see that. (Don't Think Twice?)
Kyle: One Will Smith away from being a train wreck.
Eamon: Oooh. Haha! That's how movies should be--how many Will Smiths is this movie away from being bad? That should be a rating system.
Keith: Well! We hope you've been on vacation, at least. Enjoying the sunshine, the rays, the beach...
Kyle: Not fo' breakfast, man! *laughter*
Keith: So, we are thrilled to be doing a regular episode again! So--
Eamon: It's nice to be getting back to episodes! I don't know if this is a great episode to start back in on--
Keith: I'm excited! I've been really excited to talk about this. But before we get into this, since we've been off for a little bit, we have got some reader-mail to tackle! So, Kyle, do you wanna read a little reader-mail that we've gotten?
2:24 Kyle: I do! So, we got some good feedback on Revenge of the Sword from George. Now George points out to us that in the Russian Roulette scene, we had taken the position that: Eh what's Duncan have to lose by playing Russian Roulette. But as George points out: "During the Russian Roulette scene, you mentioned Duncan has little to lose. I thought the opposite. If they shot him, they were in a crematorium! Which I presume would kill him permanently, if they used it to get rid of his body. I wouldn't have been so cavalier if I was Duncan in that scene. Thanks again! George."
Kyle: That is interesting! **Eamon: Yeah.** Especially because of the way crematoriums... work. Because they don't actually burn your bones. **Eamon: Hm.** **Keith: Hm!** But they GRIND your bones into powder when they're done. Like, that's where the ashes come from.
Kyle: Like, the fire's not so hot that it reduces your bones to ashes. So what would they have gotten... *laughter* **Eamon: Yeah.** Mac came into a furnace. Would, like, his skin start to like molt back onto his body? That's scary!
Eamon: Yeah... if--
Kyle: That's some sci-fi shit!
Eamon: Well, would getting all your skin... meat burnt off your bone, count as being decapitated?
3:32 Kyle: I guess like your brain is probably removed from your body throughout this process, like ***** gets cooked into nothing.
Eamon: Yeah. Hmmm.
Kyle: That seems like a version of losing your head.
Keith: This is a good--yeah, is it that your spinal cord needs to be severed? Or like your brain-stem? **Eamon: Hmm.** Hmm.
Kyle: Also, this is a weird side note: but Freakonomics did a weird sss--like, sting operation on pet crematoriums, to prove that they don't give you back your own pet's actual ashes--
Keith: Oh yeah!
Kyle: Yeah. Cuz since it's the bones that survive, they took a bunch of cats that were, like, basically taxidermied and had no skeletons, and got them cremated, but still got a full thing of ashes back, which should not happen, because that's the ground-up bones, and it had no bones. *laughter* They got some other body--other person's, like, piece of their pet. **Eamon: Huh.** Yeah. Pet crematoriums: might be a scam. *laughter*
4:19 Keith: We also have another e-mail here from George T! He says: "Hi! I'm catching up on your podcasts. Currently at The Lady and The Tiger, near the end of Season One. Really enjoyable! Keep up the good work!"
Thank you very much, George!
Kyle: It's the same guy!
Keith: Wait, what? Is it?
Kyle: It is the same guy! *laughter* Everything's coming up George!
Keith: Oh, wow! I can--do you want me to read a different one?
Kyle: That's up to you. But it's funny.
Eamon: No. Keep going.
Keith: Okay! Hahah!
Kyle: Should've coordinated better!
Keith: Whoops! George: "You've queried the location of Seaqueva--Seacouver. I can't remember where I got this info. Could've been on Unicet, alt.tv.highlander, where all the Highlander nuts hung out back when the show originally aired. But it was supposed to be called Seacouver because it was in the geographical location for Seattle, but looked like Vancouver."
Kyle: Hm. Well that's makes sense in the context of this episode--**Keith: Oh--**--cos they mention they're near Olympia!
Keith: I want to talk a lot about ge--Geography in this episode, guys. So—
5:10 Kyle: Cartography-Rewatched! *****--under a bus!
Keith: George: "Also: some other things I would've loved to have pointed out as you did the episodes. Ursa, in The Beast Below, is supposed to have really attacked Adrian Paul during the filming of the fight scene at the end. I read this in an interview at the time. **Okay.** In--"
Eamon: I think John Mosby, did he mention something like that?
Keith: Yeah, I think so.
Kyle: He'd had like a liquid lunch during that—
Keith: George: "In Deadly Medicine, Duncan needs a snorkel underwater when looking for the camera, but in the movies, Immortals can breathe underwater, which highlights the different nature of Immortality between the movies and TV series."
Kyle: Yeah, cuz in the movies, he's basically Sonic the Hedgehog. So... *laughter*
Keith: Or a Kevin Costner.
Kyle: Oh-ope! Yeah, he's the Mariner!
Eamon: I was just gonna say he has four seconds to jump in a bubble to get air. *Keith laughs*
Keith: George: "You've mentioned a few times how the show was so violent for something shown on Saturday afternoon. However, when the show first aired in the U.S., every episode was about six minutes shorter than the Euro-version. These were called the Euro-minutes, and it was because Euro has stricter rules about the length of advertisements that could be in an episode. These cuts probably included the more violent bits of the episode, where it was shown early. The lengthy scenes of Richie chatting up women, I think in Eyewitness, etc. They definitely cut out crucial plot-points in some stages."
Keith: Uh, in some cases I think that's true, but in a lot of cases it's like... I have a lot of the scripts 'n stuff, and... **Eamon: Mmhm.** It's like, usually like weird interstitial stuff that's cut, not the... the violence, but--**Eamon: Hmm.** And definitely not the boobs.
Kyle: Nice try, George! *laughter* I'm just kidding. We really appreciate you writing in.
Keith: No, no. But no, that's definitely is--definitely the case in some instances, but it's not like across the board; what, like, those are the things that uh, get cut. Oh! And also he said: George: "You requested some Highlander catalogues," and he sent them to us! So--**Eamon: Oh!** Yeah! Actually, George, another listener of ours had sent us a catalogue, almost when we started, and that's what we've been reading all our ads from, and we actually just finished using that. **Eamon: Ooh!** So, thank you very much to Magdelena for sending us that! And we'll be sending it back to you with a little gift, uh, as a thank you! But yes, thank you George! We've got both of those catalogues, and we're gonna start reading from them now, and it's really a treat! It's awesome. So, thank you very much, George!
Kyle: You're the hero we deserve, George.
Keith: Absolutely. *chuckles*
7:13 Keith: Alright guys. So, to hop into this...**Keith: This gem?** ...joy of an episode. We're so excited! So, this is episode 13 of Season Two: "Bless The Child". It originally aired (this is a real treat) on February 14th, 1994!
Kyle: This is the Valentine's Day episode?
Keith: This is the Valentine's Day episode.
Kyle: It's got... it's got romance.
Keith: It IS kind of romantic, I mean, Charlie and Mac are out on a date, of some sort. *laughter*
Kyle: Hooh! (ew)
Keith: It was directed by Clay Borris.
Keith: Six-Day-Clay. We know him from of course, The Watchers, which is a good episode. Turnabout, pretty good episode--
Keith: And The Zone.
Kyle: One of the worst--
Keith: And maybe *with Kyle* Revenge of the Sword, as well.
Kyle: Which is one of the worst episodes—
Keith: Another kind of clunker. But he was known for being able to shoot quick! Bing bang boom!
Kyle: This episode... looks like it was shot... quick, bing bang boom! *laughter*
Eamon: Doesn't feel like very quick, when you watch it.
Keith: No. This episode was written by Elizabeth Baxter. Uh... she wrote, uh, Saving Grace and Eye For An Eye, um... with I guess her writing partner? Martin Brossollet? So these are two French writers. And I believe these are the only two episodes they wrote... or this is the third of the Elizabeth Baxter/Martin Brossollet trilogy. *amused* **Eamon: Hm.** This episode guest-starts Michelle Thrush as Sara Lightfoot, but she also appears uh, later, in an episode of Highlander... In the Line of Fire episode? As like a main character. So--*Eamon makes pleased noises*
Kyle: Good. Perfect.
Keith: Yeah, so we get to see her again. A-hum.
Kyle: Well, so after this episode I was dying to see more of her, so...
Eamon: Isn't In The Line of Fire a movie?
Keith: Yeah with, um, Clint Eastwood?
Keith: Is that the one with John Malkovich?
Kyle: Oh, as the assassin?
Keith: Where he makes like a wooden gun--**Kyle: Yeah, it's--**--to kill the President? Or, no. Am I thinking of something different.
Kyle: Um, that's a g--an interesting movie. I'd say it's a great movie, but it's not.
Keith: Wait. Is that a Clint Eastwood movie?
Kyle: That is Clint Eastwood.
Keith: Yeah. Yeah, yeah yeah.
Eamon: Is this a Tom Clancy...
Keith: I think so. Yeah.
Eamon: ... movie?
8:57 Keith: Yeah. So this episode also stars Johnny Cuthbert as Billie Hoskins. Uh, he's done a lot of TV, including a main role in The Crow TV show, the short-lived Crow show? **Eamon: Oooh, The Crow!** Crow Show. The Crawl Show?
Kyle: The Crow Show?
Keith: Crawl Show, Nick Crow. And of course, Ed Lauter as Avery Hoskins! I think everyone probably recognizes HIM from like, EVERYthing?
Kyle: From literally everything!
Keith: Yeah. He's in a ton of movie, TVs, um... uh, sadly he died in 2013.
Kyle: He's a good character-actor, though.
Keith: Oh, yeah yeah yeah.
Eamon: Yeah. He is.
Kyle: Better than this episode.
Keith: Absolutely. So, R. I. Piper to Ed Lauter.
Keith: Wait, what?
Kyle: I'm just enjoying the return of the--the Rest In Piper.
Keith: Rest In Piper!
Kyle: Rowdy in Peace.
9:38 Keith: So, let's get to our favorite part of these introductions. The IMDb episode description.
Kyle: Oh yes!
Keith: So the episode description for Bless The Child is: "While camping in the woods Duncan and Charlie help a frightened young woman and her baby flee from an abusive father-in-law." ***** Ppplt.** Hehahahahahl.
Kyle: Hahmmm. That... at least that's like succinct and to the point.
Keith: Sure. Yeah. It's also short.
Kyle: And not full of, like, egregious plotholes--**Eamon: Yeah.**--or weird grammatical... circumstances?
10:06 Keith: Alright. So let's hop into this, guys! **Kyle: So...** How's this episode open?
Kyle: So, we open with a group of miners/ranchers, arguing about mercury.
Eamon: Yeah. They have some dead cattle as a result of mercury poisoning.
Kyle: How--Twelve head of dead cattle...! Or is it eighteen! It's a very important sticking point that they felt the need to correct us on.
Eamon: Yeah! Hahah.
Keith: Hahaha. This scene led me down weird holes on the Internet, cuz I was looking up prices of cattle--**Eamon: Mmhm.**--and prices of gold, trying to do the math.
10:37 Kyle: And they ***** tons of gold ore. TONS.
Keith: So, that's not a lot of gold. So, there's: the difference between gold ore and solid gold, is like gold ore is solid rocks that have flecks of gold in it. So, again, I went down--this took me a while to get all this info so, that was fun. *Kyle laughs*
Eamon: Time well spent!
Keith: Uh, so--
Kyle: Are you turning into an ed the fen... End the Fed guy? Is that where this is going?
Keith: Yeah. So, on the high-end, one ton of gold ore has ONE OUNCE--
Kyle: *incredulous* One OUNCE?
Keith: --of gold.
Kyle: So this is not a ton of gold.
Keith: Well, I did the math. So, if they have--what was it?--twenty tons--so that would be about $30,000.00 worth of gold, if it's about $1,500.00 an ounce.
Eamon: That's a... that's a pretty big--
Keith: It's not a... it's not NOTHING. It's a lot of money.
Eamon: Yeah. But how much is--
Kyle: Those cattle sound like they're more expensive.
Keith: Correct. So I looked into some cattle-pricing, uh again this is kind of on the high-end, it depends on what these cattle are used for, maybe. I don't know. Maybe... are they grass... grass-fed, corn-fed? We don't know.
Kyle: Are these some milkin' cows, or some mm...
Keith: Yeah. Um, but--
Kyle: Some beef heifers?
11:41 Keith: Again, kind of on the high-end cows go for, like, 700 to a little over a thousand dollars apiece. Uh... so! Um, or sometimes up to 15. So, on the high-end, this is like $27,000.00 in cattle. So, when they kind have this argument, it's like they're kind of arguing about maybe a $3,000.00 difference. I mean, they're at like a break-even point, now. Which isn't good.
12:00 Kyle: But like they're well that guy over--No, that's bad. **Keith: Yeah.** That's very bad. In fact, that's fascinating.
Keith: Yeah. So I'm glad we've--after this vacation we've come back--combined every one of th--
Kyle: Yeah! We've done the--We've crunched all the numbers on gold ore and cattle ranching, *Eamon chuckles* and now we're in a position to truly understand how bad this episode is.
12:20 Keith: Blrgh. This is a good start. I mean, if you don't get this, you're going to be lost the WHOOOOLE episode. This is... kind of the cornerstone.
Kyle: So, somehow... somehow that's not a joke. The cornerstone of this episode is that the mine is leaching mercury into the surrounding area, and the gol--the gold-miner, th--our forty-niner villain, *Eamon laughs* has to--is trying to conceal this fact from his compatriots, despite the fact that he's killed many cows... and maybe some others.
12:50 Keith: Yeah. So, we hear a baby cry, and Ed Lauter comes in and [asks] "Where's Sara?" or whatever. Anyway, my first question I was like, "What's the living situa--like, everyone's in a house, I guess, together!"
Eamon: They all--
Kyle: It's a Rancher Commune-slash-manor, society.
Keith: I have a lot of questions this WHOLE episode. Like who's related to who and how, cuz I was confused a lot. I don't know.
Eamon: Well right now there are three men onscreen. I think they all sleep in the same bed like the Three Stooges.
Keith: Like the--Hahah!
Kyle: *chuckling* Do they sleep heady-footy-heady? Or...
Eamon: They just all sleep normal-style--**Keith: Spooned?--I don't know.
Eamon: --with their little caps 'n, and... *laughter*
13:26 Keith: So, I guess we cut outside and this woman Sara has got a baby, and she loads it up in the truck and is out of there.
Kyle: It's like the Beverly Hillbillies truck. **Yeah!** Essentially. So, she does that, and we're cutting to some dude-time camping!
Eamon: Yeah. Mac and Charlie are... well, Mac is cooking. Cooking breakfast--
Kyle: What's he cooking, Eamon?
Eamon: He's cooking--
Kyle: What... what is he cooking?
Eamon: He's cooking some trout, and he has like some toast and jam or something?
Kyle: Charlie is not into this. Charlie is just not feeling--"Don't you like trout?"
Keith: So this is the clip we played at the top of the episode, cuz it's the best clip from the episode--*chuckles*
Keith: So yeah, Charlie's not into this because...
Eamon: Well, why is he so appalled about fish for breakfast?
Keith: *perplexed* I don't know...! Again, Charlie's like a Marine, right? Or s--I don't know. I feel like he's got outdoor experience, like... **Eamon: Yeah.** He's just being a baby--
Kyle: "Not for breakfast, man!"
Keith: Well, it's cuz they're not eating has browns 'n stuff at some diner.
14:23 Eamon: This is the second occurrence of Mac lecturing Charlie on nutrition.
Kyle: --nutrition, yeah. Mac really missed his calling. **Eamon: Yeah!** He should've just been a dietician.
Eamon: Doesn't Charlie run a gym? Charlie should know about nutrition!
14:33 Keith: *laughs* So, I have a lot of questions here, cuz I think at some point they mention like...
Eamon: W--w... They're not actually camping. Their truck broke down.
Keith: Their TRUCK broke down, right?
Kyle: But they happen to have a bunch of camping supplies.
Keith: But they have a bunch of camping supplies--
Keith: --so I'm kind of curious where they were going... they were going to--do they say they were GOING to Olympia?
Kyle: I don't know.
Keith: Or the diner's in Olympia?
Eamon: Oh, right!
Keith: Like, is that on the WAY to where they were going?
Eamon: Yeah, they mention that diner, yeah.
Keith: Cuz they're essentially going to a city, so there's no need to have... camping stuff.
Eamon: Maybe they're coming BACK from camping?
Kyle: *amused* So they have to have--do more camping involuntarily?
Keith: Maybe. Another thing I was kind of curious about is, later in the episode, they talk about fixing their car, and I think Charlie says, like, "It's just gonna--it'll be fifteen minutes. I can fix this car in fifteen minutes." Why did they camp out?
Kyle: If you can fix it in fift--
Eamon: Yeah, right!
Keith: If you can fix it in fifteen minutes, FIX THE CAR!
Kyle: Fix the god damn car and keep going!
Eamon: *amused* I didn't even think about that.
Keith: *long laugh* Neither did the writers!
15:27 Keith: So they hear a noise.
Kyle: Yeah. They hear a noise of this truck driving like a-- *Keith laughs loud* --Sara's in this truck driving like a crazy person for NO reason!
Eamon: She's like, driving like... it's not even on a road! It just looks like they're trying to...crash.
Keith: It's like careening out of control.
Kyle: And when they cut to her driving, it literally looks like she's just shaking her arms back and forth!
Keith: I really wanted there to be a sticker on the back windshield that said "baby on board".
Eamon: Yeah, hahah!
Kyle: Which, by the way: baby, not in a baby seat. **Eamon: Dead.** Also, just her swerving around, killed that baby. Just the way she's driving on the actual road... is a smashed cranium for that baby. *laughter* It's young enough, its skull--**Eamon: Soft!**--bones are not fully formed yet. That is a, at bare minimum, severely brain-damaged baby.
Eamon: They did go through a lot of babies, filming this episode. It was on the--
16:22***** Kyle: A regular milo notice situation?
Keith: Yeah. Ooh, dark *****Ky? aside!
Eamon: --the trivia on IMDb. There were, like, ten babies. *Ke laughs hard* No. Anyway, she crashes.
16:35 Kyle: And... very violently. And she does--
Keith: Oh, it's really bad!
Kyle: She goes SLAMMING off the road--**Eamon: Yeah.**--careening into rocks. Again: no car seat. **Eamon: Yeah.** This baby... and probably her... just dead.
Eamon: In any other action movie, the way this truck careened off the, like, cliff or whatever, it would've exploded when it hit the ground. *Keith laughs*
16:54 Keith: Which is--it's about to do! So it crashes. Charlie and Mac go down to, like, investigate. **Eamon: Mmhm.** Uh, they take Sara from the car, and then she [says] "But my baby!"
Kyle: Yeah! Somehow the baby's not crying. **Keith: Well, he--** Probably because it's dead!
Keith: No! *laughter*
Kyle: The baby's not crying, they go, they physically pull her out of the car--
Kyle: --and just don't notice--
Keith: They don't even notice!
Kyle: --that there's a baby in it!
Eamon: Well there's a thing: in all the scenes of her driving, and then after they crash, there's audio of the baby crying. They stop it when Mac and Charlie pull her out of the car. And then they start it again. But it's like... it's not consistent with the editing!
Kyle: The baby got gun-shy. It said who are these people, I guess.
Eamon: Uh-oh, I need to be quiet now.
17:32 Keith: Mac's response when she [says] the baby's in the car, is pretty good. He nonchalantly is like, "Alright, I got it, I got it," as he kind of walks back.
17:40 Kyle: Yeah, he's just like "Uck, fine! Sorry you forgot your keys? We'll go back and get them." This is completely insane. And then the car explodes--**Keith: Right!**--after he gets the baby out--**Eamon: Mmhm.**--as though it had a baby-timed fuse. *Keith laughs*
Eamon: Basically, she's just like, "Oh, they're trying to take my baby!"
17:58 Keith: Right. So... So now they're at the top of the ridge, and Charlie's back working on this truck, for fifteen minutes or--whatever it's s'posed to take him.
Keith: But Sara's like, "We gotta go right now, because..." I guess that's why she was driving so fast? It's because I guess, Avery and his crew are hot on her tail. Which I guess would kind of make sense. I mean, she drove away in the beginning...
Keith: ... and they heard her drive away and they're like: "Let's go follow her!" And it's like... what are they, three minutes behind?
Eamon: How long have they been chasing her?
Keith: I guess through the night. **Eamon: Yeah.** So where are THEY?!
Kyle: Where are they? Oh, I didn't even think about that!
18:29 Kyle: ***** in the middle of nowhere. Keith: Have they just been doing like, loops?
Kyle: Just doing donuts in the parking lot. Well, I guess, also, it makes more sense--we'll talk about it in due time--why she might've decided to head to the wilderness, as opposed to FROM the wilderness. **Keith: Yeah.** She might be trying to retreat to where they are. Not pass through it.
Keith: That's true.
Kyle: Oooh. Foreshadowing.
Keith: Ah. *wheezelaugh*
Kyle: Charlie's not happy to hear that they're coming to take her baby.
Keith: Well, there's some reasons why they're gonna take her baby, that are set up here that are important.
19:02 *****Eamon: Well she says she was married to Avery Hoskins' son. Avery Hoskins is one of the gold-headled men.
19:08 Keith: He's head water.***** ??? He's like the head--
Kyle: He's the head honcho. **Eamon: Yeah.** Who presumably owns this gold mine and these cattle or some shit?
Keith: Well he owns the cattle... He owns, I guess, the property the gold mine is on?
Keith: Maybe he doesn't know about it. I've got questions about that later. *laughs*
Kyle: I think it's pretty clear, in the context of the episode, he does not know that there's mercury being leached from his gold ore.
Eamon: Who keeps their, like, cattle near, like, a mine?
Keith: Well I think it's a secret mine. Like no one knew this was here. We're gonna really dig deep into this at the end of the episode, guys, don't worry.
Ky; Don't worry, yeah! Hang onto your butts! Ah--
Keith: There's more gold ore talk comin'!
Eamon: Yeah. Sara says she was married to his son...
Keith: But Avery did--Ed Lauter did not like her because she wasn't white enough to, like, be the baby's mom, or... whatever. He didn't like her coz she's--OH! S--She is a Native American.
Keith: That should be made clear. So we've got this weird race-thing going on--
Kyle: She's not white enough to be the baby's mom, but the baby is half Native American. So the baby's okay--**Keith and Eamon: Yeah.** Selective racism! I guess.
Eamon: The main takeaway I got from this scene, was that there's a lot of like, canned bird-sounds? While they're talking-- *laughter* that sound like, really unnatural. It sounds like a bird-clock... d'you know these bird-clocks?
Keith: Like a Cuckoo Clock?
Eamon: No like... like there's a bird for every, like, time...
Keith: OH! Right. Yeah.
Eamon: It just sounded like canned birds. That's what I noticed in this scene.
20:30 Kyle: It was actually just a Foley outfit ***** artist with that clock, and he's like "Oh, do 3 o'clock again. Come on."
Eamon: *laughing* Yeah!
Keith: That's what Charlie probably wishes he had for lu--uh, breakfast instead of that trout! He's like, "Man, don't you have any canned birds?!" *laughter*
Eamon: Canned birds.
Kyle: Couple canned birds.
Keith: Probably a couple of cans in the back.
Eamon: Mmm. Cans in the back! ...
Keith: Darkness 18.
Keith and Kyle: Cans In The Back!
20:50 Kyle: Whoa, good return for that joke! So, the goons are--are coming up the hill, and Mac decides that he's gonna go talk to them. By the way, Ed Lauter's just insane. These are insane people. They are all crazy.
Eamon: Yeah, hahah. Well he just comes with like, hey, I wanna talk! And then immediately they take their guns out!
Keith: Yeah! And the one guy SHOOTS at him! *laugh*
Kyle: Yeah! He's like "I'm gonna give you to the count of three! BANG!"
21:13 Keith: So this just automatically bec--this becomes Mountain Men very quickly.
Eamon: Yup! Yeah. It does.
Keith: Uh, so, I guess--
Kyle: Except Mountain Men is good!
Keith: ***** Yeah.
Kyle: It's, in fact, great. *laughter*
21:23 Keith: I guess Charlie is trying to drive away with Sara, uh, but I guess the jeep still doesn't work?
Eamon: Yeah. The jeep still doesn't work--
*****Kyle: It's like DAMN!
Eamon: --they shoot out, like, the jeep window...
Keith: Yeah. So they... they go fleeing...
Eamon: So they escape--Mac and Charlie and Sara escape into the woods, and Mac starts doing his tracker-diversion tactics--
Keith: Ooh! Tracker! Adrian Paul show!
Eamon: Oh yeah, you're right!
Kyle: It's called Man Tracker, but...
Eamon: *chuckles* He's like, shuffling rocks and breaking twigs and splashing water on things--
Kyle: It's like: Mac plays with nature!
Eamon: Yeah! *laughs*
21:54 Keith: So like, they split up and go in different directions to kinda throw 'em off the trail, but then they, like, Sara and Charlie, like, just loop back around right to the jeep, like, immediately.
Kyle: Well I think that was the plan.
Keith: Oh. Okay.
Kyle: They're gonna try and lead them away, and circle back to the j--
Keith: But when they get back to the jeep, the tires are cut.
Ea; Yeah. And they do something with the engine. I thought there was a continuity error, because the hood was up, but I was like "But they shot the window!" But I think they did something to the engine.
Eamon: But why didn't they double back to THEIR jeep; the bad guys's jeep?
Keith: That makes more sense: steal the jeep!
Kyle: Huh. I don't know. Have we established that Mac or Charlie knows how to hotwire a car?
Eamon: I would think Mac would know.
Kyle: One of his Immortal past lives as a car jacker? *amused*
Eamon: He picks up lots of stuff.
Keith: I guess, I'm still just confused on how far way these people are at any given point, because like--**Kyle: Yesss.**--they run away from the--the car, and then they get back and the tires are already slashed. How--these people must be like, seconds behind you. **Eamon: Yeah.** Uh, I don't know. It seems weird.
22:46 Kyle: Yeah. So this episode is really just Bless The Padding. ******laughter* Is that what this is? Cuz we get treated to sooo much of Mac in real time, just like trying to leave this fake trail. **Keith: Yeah!** You get to see him pretend to climb a ridge for like three minutes. **Eamon: Yeah.** And it's like, he's not even actually climbing it; he's just pretending. *laughter*
Eamon: So this is when they see the wet rocks, and then they figure out that it was just a diversion. Avery says "Get Mike and J.J. here!"
Keith: And the dogs. So he gets dogs. Uh, we do get geographical stuff here. They say it is 45 miles by road, right? To the nearest town.
Kyle: Yeah, but 20 hard miles through the wilderness--**Keith: Right.**--to get to town.
Eamon: Through a canyon?
Keith: Through a canyon.
Keith: _I_ didn't see a canyon. *laughter*
Keith: How many d--Facebook comments are we gonna get about "Guys! Stop it!"
Kyle: "Stop talking about gold ore, and geography, and the price of cattle--" Keith: "--and also how many times have we settled: Seacouver's in Washington." *Eamon laughs* Also only because, I think, it says it somewhere. Like the Watcher Chronicles at some point said: "Seacouver's in Washington." I mean, we're going by, like, what's the episode trying to tell us.
Keith: Like, they're in a bayou, or they're down South with Confederate flags--
Kyle: *laughing* Yeah!
Keith: --apparently they're *with Kyle* still in Washington.
23:58 Kyle: Meanwhile, we circle back to the gold ore versus cows discussion. I guess it's come out that they... Ed Lauter doesn't know about the mercury poisoning yet. So, the miner with his twelve tons of gold ore decides that he needs to silence this guy before he blows up his spot.
Eamon: Right. So he shoots him.
Kyle: Yeah! He just shoots the cowman dead! Also, my notes just here says: "Is this Oklahoma? 'Oh, the miner and the cowman should be friends.'" *Keith laughs loudly.* **Eamon: Yeah.** *Kyle sings* Ooooh, the farmer and the cowman should be frnnnn (friends)...
24:25 Keith: So, I've got some--some questions about the mine, and stuff, I guess.
Kyle: Oh good! More questions about the mine?
Keith: Yeah, sorry! Okay, so--
Eamon: You're really mining this mine topic.
Keith: I-I... it bugged me a lot. Ah, so--
Kyle: Plumbed and plumbing those depths.
Keith: So he shoots... Is it Luke shoots Billy?
Eamon: Billy shoots Luke. Keith: Billy shoots Luke (see you Luke) because he doesn't want Ed Lauter to find out about the mine, right?
Keith: So... when did these cows die? Like, he doesn't know about the mercury poisoning. Right?
Keith: If 18 of his cattle died, I'd have some questions, and I'm sure a vet would come out. They--they'd figure out, they'd--I don't know. There'd be some... stuff.
Keith: Also, how--like, this mine is not--mine is not far away, right? Don't they mention--I mean, it's on this property... **Eamon: Mmhm.** Right? Like, it--
Kyle: I think it's just that it's causing environmental damage--*Keith takes a deep breath*--is secret.
Kyle: And this guy wants to keep the mining operation going, so he doesn't want his boss to find out.
25:18 *****Kyle: I think that's what it is.
Keith: So he knows about the gold and all that stuff--**Kyle: Yeah.**--but is fine with it, because he doesn't think it's causing a problem.
Kyle: He's just trying to make his money off his gold.
Keith: Next question. Hold on! Ho-o-o hold on! *Eamon hoots amusedly* So here's my other question--
Keith: --is that we later find out the baby died of mercury poisoning. This--
Eamon: A different--a different baby.
Keith: Right, a differen--
Kyle: Spoiler alert!
Keith: Spoiler alert! There's a baby that dies from mercury poisoning. Sorry. This-this water is so poisoned, it killed a baby--which is tiny--this water is SO poisoned, it kills 18...
Eamon: --Full-sized cows--
Keith: ...full-sized cows! The--the people are all fine. Everybody's dead! Like, if this killed 18, like... what is everyone drinking bottled water? Like how are they getting away with THAT? Ed Lauter's dead! He's been dr--he's been brushing his teeth with a bunch of mercury!
Eamon: They have Brita Filters.
26:05 Kyle: Like *****
Keith: Like how did the baby get poisoned BY the water?! I'm assuming they've got a well on the property. Probably. They're out, you know, in the boonies. **Keith: Yeah.** So the well's been poisoned, so all the--all their water... is poisoned.
Eamon: Yeah, that seems like a pretty big plothole.
Keith: *laughs victoriously* Crushed it!
Kyle: Yeah, well, also, like the... what are other things that cows might be doing? Well I don't know why I'm working so hard to justify this plot-point but, like, obviously if it seeps into the ground, it might be contaminating things like the grass, and it might be like--
Keith: Yeah, everything's dead, I think. I don't know!
Kyle: Maybe! I don't know.
Eamon: I don't know either.
Kyle: Or maybe she just had it, like, ate too much tuna fish!
Keith: *amused* Unrelated mercury poisoning, you're thinking?
Kyle: It's actually just a complete coincidence! *laughter* She exceeded the daily recommended dose of--for pregnant women--of... of fish.
Eamon: Yeah. It was--what was that, Jeremy Piven? Is that who that happened to?
Keith: Is that--was that what killed Jeremy Piven?
26:53 Eamon: No, he's still alive. But I think he got ard--
Keith: No! ***** R&RIP Piven! *Eamon laughs*
26:57 Kyle: So let's talk about something interesting.
Keith: Okay. *laughter*
Eamon: About how Charlie is--
Keith: Sorry! I was excited about that.
Eamon: How Charlie hates heights?
Kyle: Charlie... does hate heights. And we don't get to see him climbing it, but we get to see every. *quieter by increments until ending on a whisper* single. step. it takes. to get down.
Kyle: Everything in this episode, it's like, oh let's just show the whole thing.
Kyle: Let's show every part of this action! 27:18 Anyway, so we cut to the baddies, and they've, I suppose, discovered that one of their friends is dead. So Ed Lauter's like, "Alright. Let's call the police." It's like: "Let's call the fucking police? You're on like, a... you're a member of a murder brigade! You tried to shoot a guy thirty seconds after meeting him, and you wanna call the police? Like, you're going to jail! You're an attempted murderer!"
Eamon: Also, he says "Oh. Maybe this MacLeod-guy is part Indian."
Eamon: Like, what does that have to do with--
Keith: Well, I think it's weird racism: that Indians are... inherently, like, trackers and they're, you know--
Kyle: Yeah. Like writers think they can get away with 'cause it's like, "Oh! But it's a positive thing coz th--"
27:57 Keith: Coz they mention that later, that somebody... I think Charlie says it or... I think this is a cut bit of dialogue, later. I'll have to look at my notes. That, like, Charlie's like, "Awe, man--" when Sara runs away, "We're never gonna be able to find her. She's an Indian!" *laughter* It's like WHAT?
Kyle: What?! No!
Eamon: Indian. You know. *unhappy laughter*
Kyle: Yeah. The whole thing is kind of insane. And it's like, weird D&D shit. It's like "Oh, he's a Dwarf. He gets +2 to Foraging!" *laughter*
Eamon: Yeah. *laughter continues*
Kyle: "Oh, Native American! Use your Racial Passive!"
Keith: Oh, man.
28:29 Keith: So they find a place to, like, live... to camp out, right? So they--
Eamon: Well, like they're like "Mac's looking for a place for us to stay," and he just finds a--
Keith: A cabin!
Eamon: --fully furnished cabin, with electricity, and like--
Keith: And he breaks into it, I guess.
Kyle: Yeah, it's like why didn't you just start there? Why were you...
Keith: So, Charlie's off looking for firewood, and then I guess Mac's kind of wishing he had a baby, and then we get prah--a pretty amazing clip, I think. 28:52 Maybe second to the ***** clip is like, the changing... baby. clip.
Kyle: Oh, God.
Keith: This is Mac and Charlie being, like, dads together.
Kyle: This is almost funny.
Eamon: Yeah. *laughter*
Kyle: This is very almost funny.
Kyle: If there were actual jokes built into this, it would've been fine. Instead, you literally just see Mac and Charlie mechanically going through all the steps of changing a baby.
Keith: Let's listen to this. This is awesome.
Kyle: Yeah. Let's take a listen!
29:18 Charlie: *bringing baby close to Mac* Who's this? Oh, my goodness, oh. Oooh!
Duncan: *smiles at baby* Hi. *asks Charlie* How's he doing? Charlie: *strained* Well, he's not the only one who's hungry.
Duncan: *straightening up* You want me to feed him?
Charlie: *challenge accepted* Hah, Hell, no. I'm a liberated man. Get me the bottle.
Kyle: *Laughs* Charlie!
Keith: Yeah! This is the 90s!
*Duncan passes bottle to him* Charlie: Here we go. Here we go, it's dinner--*confused*
Duncan: *teasing* You have to take the cap off. There's a nipple inside the bottle.
Charlie: *huffy fond* Yeah, right. I knew that, man. Yeah, I did. Oooh.
Keith: Darkness 25. There's a nipple inside the bottle! *Eamon laughs* That's a weird one!
*as Duncan helps uncap the bottle* Charlie: Thank you, Uncle Duncan. And then we take this nipple, and we put it--
Duncan: *touched* Uncle Duncan?
Keith: UNcle Duncan? *Kyle laughs*
29:56 *****And we take this nipple and we put it on the--
Charlie - Uncle Duncan. Oh, here we come. Oh, it's eats time.
Eamon: That was SO long!
Charlie: Time for big eats. Ooh. *baby seems uninterested in bottle*
Keith: It's still just going!
Charlie: Oh, can Uncle Charlie have some?
Kyle: It's going to go on for another three minutes!
Charlie: Hey? Hey, what do you think? Oh, can Uncle MacLeod have some?
30:10 ******: Phhht!
Charlie: *waves teasing under Mac's nose* Oh, yes.
Duncan: Charlie, I think you're looking at the wrong end.
Charlie: What d'you mean?
Duncan: His diapers need changing.
30:17 Kyle: Yeah, they're looking at the wrong end.
Charlie: *looking alarmed over his shoulder* Right. Well, I vote that we wake up Sara--
Duncan: *starts to try and take baby* No, no, no, no, no. Let her sleep.
Charlie: *upset* Hey, I don't do diapers, man.
*burst of laughter from the Rewatchers*
Duncan: *teasing* Says the liberated male. All right.
Eamon: I thought he was a liberated man!
Kyle: Not THAT liberated.
Duncan: Get me some diapers and some wipes. *Sara opens her eyes, listening, smiles warmly*
30:30 Eamon: He doesn't do TROUT for BREAKFAST! He doesn't do DIApers!
30:34 Keith: Oh, that's SO good!
Kyle: It is--
Keith: Kind of.
Kyle: Kind of.
Kyle: It's so weird, and it's so padding!
Kyle: It's like, okay, so just like, riff for a minute, about changing this baby's diaper.
Keith: Yeah. Somewhere buried in there is like a funny sitcom, that's kind of an Odd Couple thing about like...
Eamon: Mac and Charlie--
Keith: Mac doesn't know how to make coffee--
Eamon: --take this baby, yeah.
Keith: That's like: "I'm 400 years old, I don't know anything!"
Kyle: *laughs* Charlie and Mac actually do have legitimately good--
Keith: They're great!
Kyle: --like, dynamics. And this is so close to being, actually really funny, but instead it's just like: *whispers* "Why is this happening?" Why is it still happening...
Keith: Well it all feels just... improvised. **Eamon: Yeah.** And it doesn't feel tight at all? I feel like a scene like that, if they wrote it, and sh--like, it's also boring... like, to watch it, **Eamon: Mmhm.**--it's just filmed really flat, just kind of a wide-shot. It's just like, this is stupid. Let's move on.
Eamon: And we DO move on.
Kyle: Because Charlie's like, "A man like you HAS to have a kid!" de do do, do do do!
Keith: Also, Mac is changing the diaper, sprinkling baby powder on it, and Charlie's like checking out he's like, "Dude, you're a natural!"
Eamon: *chuckles* Yeah.
Keith: It's like--
Kyle: Like he just mastered some ancient skill.
Keith: Yeah. He could be doing the same thing and it would just be salting a pork chop. *laughter*
Kyle: Wow, you're doing that real good!
31:43 🎶 Princes of the Universe! 🎶
Keith: Heya, Rewatchers! We are joined by a very special guest today. Ah, we'd like to introduce you to Michael Lashman! Hi, Michael!
Michael: How ya doing?
Keith: Hi! I'm Keith!
Kyle: This is Kyle!
Eamon: And this is Eamon! Hi, Michael.
Keith: And uh, can you tell--
Michael: Hey, how ya doing?
Keith: Can you tell us why it's, uh, special for you to be on our show?
Michael: Well, we've got the 30th Anniversary Highlander Convention coming on, on December 2nd, 3rd and 4th, in Lakeland, Florida! Welcome to all the Highlander fans!
Keith: Awesome, and you're putting on this convention, right?
Michael: Yes I am, I'm the promoter.
Keith: Awesome, awesome! So, what can Highlander fans expect at your convention? Who's gonna be there?
Michael: Well, we've got Christopher Lambert of course. Um, Adrian Paul. 32:37 We just signed this week here Elizabeth Gracen. Um, we're also getting one more Immortal involved. Um, Braun McAsh is also involved. Uh, some directors and some producers of the show.
Keith: That's really awesome! Uh, this will be a real treat, I'm sure, for fans of Highlander. Um, how can they get tickets to the event?
Michael: Yes! Our website is lashbadconstealevents.
Keith: Awesome! Are there different, like uh, packages people can purchase?
Michael: Yes, yes! That's the Fast Passes, along with the Immortal Passes. The Immortal will give you a two-days pass. You also get to see the premiere of a couple shows, but also a um, 33:04 ***** time with Christopher and Adrian Paul as we go over the movie Endgames.
Keith: Awesome! And... so this is not a... strictly just a Highlander convention, correct? There's also gonna be some other, I guess, fandom people there.
33:15 Michael: Yes. Yes. Some of the people here we got ***** here, ***** gonna be kind of a convention, everybody else ***** Highlander due to the 30th Anniversary.
Keith: Awesome! Awesome. And, so h--ah-ah, you're a fan of Highlander, I'm assuming, right?
Keith: Awesome. How'd you get into--
Michael: No doubt about it.
Keith: How did you get into it?
33:30 Michael: Oh, gosh! Uh, got out of high school in 1981, and of course I've seen the first two movies. Seen the movies a little bit, watched all that leads itself kind of into the series. And, it's like I--I'm... earlier this year I was talking to one of my event managers, I have a cruise company on the side also, and... so you know, back in the movie, 1986, isn't this... 2016 the 30th anniversary? I think you're right! We HAVE to do something! So I started doing some research, and I found that there was no conventions of any nature that I'm aware of, of Highlander on U.S. soil, for the end of the year! So I said we gotta start work up this year, and so we shopped my event managers, and we started working to get people involved, and it's like, people started pouring in! It's like yeah, we forgot, it's the 30th Anniversary!
Keith: Awesome, awesome! And we have a very special announcement here for OUR listeners, that we haven't said yet, is that WE, the Highlander Rewatched crew, are actually gonna be present, at the convention, doing some live podcasting, interviews, and uh, getting everybody kind of an inside look on what's going on. So we're excited to meet everybody there!
Eamon: Yeah. That's very exciting.
34:27 Michael: Yes! You're right at the entrance of the convention! As soon as you walk in, you're gonna be the first booth people ever see!
Kyle: Look at that! Our smiling faces! *Eamon snorts* *Michael laughs*
Keith: Well, Michael, we can't wait to see what develops at the convention, who's gonna be there, and uh... yeah! We can't wait to see everybody, and it's going to be a really great time!
Kyle: Yeah! Anything else you want our listeners to know?
Michael: Hey, don't forget also, Adrian Paul's will have a Sword Experience here also!
Keith: That's going to be really exciting! We--we've had a lot of listeners that have gone to his experiences.... and some have gone, like, three or four times! Uh, it's worth going every single time he puts it on. So, everyone out that should definitely sign up for that, as well.
35:00 Michael: Yeah. But they're gonna have people sign up. We're gonna have our first one on Friday morning. (SATURDAY) Enough people signed up, another fifty people we'll have it on Sunday also. Um, depending on Mr. Paul's schedule.
Keith: Oh, and also we should mention; Michael, where IS the convention?
35:13 Michael: Uh, in Lakeland, Florida. We're about 35 miles east of Tampa, and about 45 miles off Downtown Orlando, what you call Lakeland, at the Lakeland Center. 701 East Lime Street, and Downtown Lakeland Florida.
Keith: Awesome. So this definitely could become a nice little vacation for, uh, some Highlander fans.
35:31 Michael: Yeah! I mean, literally, from my house to Disney property, 45 minutes. Downtown Tampa, 30 minutes.
Keith: Very cool.
Kyle: So is there anything else our fans need to know about the upcoming Highlander convention?
35:43 Michael: Surprises I can't announce yet, but a lot of surprises will be held AT the actual convention itself. We have some auctions going on with some paraphernalia from the actual shows AND movies. Uh, we can't announce it quite yet, but that's in the works as we speak. We have a possibly a few people we're going to be calling in out of the blue, um, from the--for the Highlander official cast.
Kyle: Yeah, so stay tuned, listeners! Keep posted with Highlander Rewatched, so you can get updates on all the new cool things that are gonna be coming to this con!
Keith: Well, thank you so much, un, Michael, for joining us on our show, and I'm sure we'll be talking to you in the future, with updates to the convention!
36:14 Michael: *****see you ***** guys!
Keith: Alright! Take care, Michael!
🎶 Princes of the Universe! 🎶
36:20 Keith: So we get a flashback tooooo 1923, on December 31st!
Kyle: With the creepiest dissolve EVER. Like it's cutting to the New Year's Baby.
Eamon: OH yeah.
36:30 Keith: Oh, that's right!
Kyle: It's looks like a n--like a nightmare cartoon! *Keith and Eamon laugh*
Keith: This flashback is in, like, a sepia tone--**Eamon: Mmhm.**--which they haven't done... much before. We saw that, what, in uh... Mad Marcus? **Eamon: Yeah, b--** And I guess in Turnabout? I think, the hospital was, like, kind of sepia? **Kyle: Yeah.** **Eamon: Yeah.**
Keith: *doubtfully* It's kind of effective... I feel like it's effective for them to cover up the fact that, like--**Eamon: Yeah.**--set dressings aren't too hot, and it's like, you know...
Eamon: Yeah. This is kind of a... shitty--
Keith: Shitty flashback. Well there's also--
Eamon: --flashback, yeah.
Kyle: But you get to see Mac do the Foxtrot!
Eamon: *laughs* Yeah.
Keith: Yeah. I guess that's nice. Mac's dancing around, that's kind of fun.
Kyle: It is!
Keith: We get to meet a girlfriend that we kno--don't know anything about--
Kyle: So, cops raid this Speakeasy they're in, coz this is the middle of Prohibition. You're not allowed to have booze for dumb reasons!
Keith: So, Mac and his girlfriend... *uncertainly* Nnnnnora? ... run into a back room and lock themselves in--
Kyle: And do like the rugby shtick of like, drinking champagne out of a slll--a shoe.
Keith: And so the police raid this place--
Eamon: --that's filled with booze!
Eamon: It's like--
Kyle: They're hiding in, like, a booze closet! You're in exactly the wrong place!
Keith: At one point, one of the police officers approaches the closet to, like, investigate? And the other cop is like, "Hey, no-no-no-no. We're good. Let's go. We're all done." And it's like, "What do you MEAN you're all done? You haven't looked in anything! And also you have to confiscate ALL of this stuff!" It's real shitty.
37:45 So, she wants to have a BABY!
Kyle: Yeah. So like, she--you get to--you get treated to all this kind of insipid dialogue about how she's like, a modern woman! And then, but secretly, deep down, she just wants to have a baby?
Keith: It's a weird like--
Eamon: --with Mac, and she's like, putting him on the spot in like a pretty intense way.
37:50 Kyle: Yeah, she's like "Okay. Hey Mac, I love you; we should get married; I just wanna have a baby."
Kyle: But it's like, yeah! Whoa, this escalated quickly!
Eamon: And Mac's like, pretty upset, because he can't deliver a child. That was established--
Keith: They can always have an adoption.
Eamon: Yeah. Which I guess, was it at--in this point of time, was that not… Kids got--
Keith: Probably not.
Kyle: Orphans were a thing. **Eamon: Yeah.** There was such a thing as orphans in the 20s.
Keith: I can see there being a bigger stigma about it back then, than today.
Eamon: Sure. But, like that's a thing that always just kind of slides under the rug on this show? It's like, that's never brought up. **Keith: Yeah.** There are other ways to build a family. I don't know. **Keith: Yeah.** Big Daddy MacWarbucks!
38:42 Keith: So, this whole scene is just that Mac can't have a baby, and it's sad. And that's it. **Eamon: Wa-wah. Yeah.** It relates nothing to the episode. **Eamon: Nope.** We've seen this sort of interaction before with Tess--**Eamon: Yeah.**--this adds nothing.
Kyle: Yeah. Though she does tell him that a man's place is in the kitchen. And that's kind of funny!
Keith: It is funny.**Kyle: And--** This flashback--oh, sorry! I was just gonna--this flashback would've been I think more interesting, like in contrast to Tess or something like… If we… If this was a whole episode about having a baby and what that meant to your relationship, and perhaps this past lover was like "I want to have a baby," and Mac's like "I can't," and the relationship dissolves, and then maybe contrast with Tess, like "I want to have a baby." "I can't." "It's OK, I still love you." Maybe also to show kind of the importance of, like, Tessa's a great person!
Kyle: Right! It just felt a little… The only connection to it was that they both mention the word "baby". **Keith and Eamon laugh.** Because there are no yeah, and there's a New Year's baby. Great! Also, just want to point out, sidenote… Mac: super cold-blooded in this scene. She says I love you like, six times, he says it zero. *laughter* Chilly, Mac. Brrrr!
Eamon: *low Mac-voice* He's like: "If you stay with me, you will never have children." *gasp* *whispers* "Children!"
39:49 Keith: All right. So, we are back in the present--
Eamon: This is insane!
Keith: This is great!
Kyle: In case you thought this was a great episode, before--*laughter*
39:57 Keith: So Charlie comes in from outside, I'm not sure why he was outside, I guess may… my guess is he's keeping watch--**Eamon: Sure.**--maybe…
Eamon: But he's like running in…
Keith: Yeah. And he's like, "We got a visitor!" Haa!
Kyle: And he doesn't just lock the door, or like, keep it closed. Instead, a bear just kind of saunters in.
Keith: Yeah. So he wakes Mac up, and Mac is like, "Oh, I already changed the diaper!" or "It's not time for--" whatever, he--**Kyle: whbflblblbbl.**--blahblahblahblahblah--**Kyle: bufliblblfblr.** **40:23 Eamon: 's great*******-- he said, "No, we got company!"
Kyle: It's like MacLeod noir all over again.
40:27 Keith: *laughs* So, a bear comes in... *laughing so can't speak*
Kyle: A bear comes--yeah!
Eamon: Like a--*overridden by Keith laughing*
Kyle: The actual villain of this episode is a bear.
Eamon: But it's like--
40:34 *****Kyle: This really is my low notice.
Eamon: Is this like a Grizzly Bear? It's like a Brown Bear?:
Keith: It's like a little Brown Bear, yeah.
Eamon: Yeah. But it just walks in, but I'm like--
Keith: Well it opens the door like it's a raptor in Jurassic Park!
Eamon: But, what was the scenario before... this? Like, was the bear walking up the steps to the house or something? Like, how did he know... like, if it was just outside, why would he react that way?
Keith: *whispers* I don't know....
Eamon: I don't understand.
Keith: So I guess it was hungry--
Kyle: Also, they're clearly not in the same space. Like they're not e--
Keith: *amused* No!
Kyle: They're never in a shot together.
Eamon: Yeah. Well they're in a shot together!
Keith: I think that was in the bear's contract. I think he didn't really get along with Adrian Paul. *laughing*
Kyle: --Adrian Paul. Yeah. Sorry. I'm not gonna work with that guy.
41:13 Keith: So, to defuse the situation, Mac being the quick thinker, and he like, MacGyvers the shit. He's like, oh--
Kyle: There's some tight writing right here.
Keith: Yeah. He's like, get the jelly out of my bag, or whatever.
Eamon: Yeah. Aaah.
Keith: He gives the bear some jelly.
Kyle: And doesn't Charlie even reference the trout again?
Keith: On his way out, Duncan is like, "It goes great with trout, too." Hahaha.
Kyle: --trout, too! Everything comes full circle! 41:33 *****
Keith: So, the only reason for that was just to get them moving on, out of the cabin.
Kyle: Which by the way, they would have done when the sun came up. But, whatever.
Keith: And also... well also... also, I still have more questions about like... ah, how does Avery and his crew not find them in this cabin?
42:48 Kyle: He's like, "Maybe, where are they staying? Maybe in the cabin."
Keith: Especially like, these guys are on their tail pretty close the whole episode--
Kyle: With dogs.
Keith: With dogs. So like, Duncan doesn't seem like a betting man. Like, was his bet just like, "They're probably tired. They'll stop. Like, we'll all stop and take a nap." He's just betting like, "Oh, we're tired, let's go to sleep--**Eamon: Yeah.**--I'm sure they'll stop t--" It's like, NO! They're just gonna catch up to you, and now they've got you... cornered! *whispers* Ah, dumbdumbdumbdumbdumb! *chuckles*
Kyle: Also, it's worth noting--not to dance over this jam-thing too quickly--the physical acting that goes along with this, is insane. Like, Mac slowly unscrews the jar, very like, seductively wraps his fingers around the rim... and then like, tosses it like it's a grenade to this bear. *laughter* It's... bonkers! *Keith laughs* But of course, as if on cue, the goons do catch up with them.
42:39 Keith: Well, you know what's funny?
Eamon: Maybe they're scared of the bear. They knew that this was the bear's house.
Keith: You said that--
Kyle: They weaponized the bear.
Keith: --the villains the--the villain of the episode... the vill--the bear's the HERO of the episode! If the bear didn't come, Avery... I guess the next scene is Avery finding the--the cabin, right? And the dogs.
Kyle: I guess so.
Keith: So, without that bear...
Eamon: Good job, bear.
42:59 Keith: So, Mac gets a piece of cloth from Sara's bag or something, and he ties it to a tree--
Kyle: Well that one's a trap, right? They actually set a trap using that.
Kyle: Puts that up there, and they're like, "Oh, go up and get it!" Like, they leave Sara behind to go spring this trap--**Keith: Right.**--so like, one guy's going up to get the handkerchief cuz it's throwing off the dogs, and Charlie just like, ninjas this guy down somehow! It's like a cartoon where like, somebody grabs somebody by the mouth and pulls them offscreen and that's it. And then Mac comes up with the gun, and surprises the other guy.
43:31 Keith: Right. So when this happens, Sara splits, and actually, I've got my note here. In the script: this is literally the dialogue that they did not film. Charlie says "She's an Indian, we're never gonna find her." *groans*
Kyle: Oh, it's worth noting, this is the triumphant return of the Canadian Tuxedo, one of these two goons has it. Also, you can finally tell how Canadian they are, cuz eh, they keep on saying "aboot". *Keith and Eamon laugh* And like, that has not come up that often in this show. "What are you doing? What aboot the baby?!" *Kyle laughs with Keith*
44:00 Keith: Aah. So, then next morning, Avery thinks they're headed toward the bridge. But I guess Billy... doesn't think so?
Eamon: Billy sees a pacifier on the ground. **Keith: Right.** And this... something--
Keith: I guess that's the clue. So, he's off in a different direction, and he finds Sara.
Kyle: And he is just gonna murder her. And again, at this point we have NO idea why. At this point in the episode it has not really been explained why he wants to kill her.
Keith: No. Because the mine-thing is--doesn't seem to be connected to the baby-thing yet.
Kyle: The mine-thing is just this weird, dangling thread throughout the entire episode, until they suddenly tie it up for no reason.
Keith: Right. I should mention here, my confusion a little bit, with some of these characters, so--
Kyle: With the price of gold ore relative to livestock?
Keith: Yeah. *chuckles* Let's get back to that.
Kyle: Let's get back to that!
Keith: This is a problem I have with the script in general. I was--was any of that--were either of you confused as to who the father was?
Eamon: *decisively* Yes.
Keith: Okay. Cuz Ed Lauter seems older. **Eamon: Mmhm.** And I thought Billy was the dad.
Eamon: So the dad's not... any of these people, right?
Keith: No, Ed Lauter's the dad!
Kyle: We come to find out that Ed Lauter is the actual dad. This is HIS baby, not her baby.
Keith: And another thing that confused me was: I guess I didn't realize... I don't know. I didn't know what everyone's relationship was, because it's... I forget what Ed Lauter's name is.
Eamon: Well, Avery Hoskins. So he--
Keith: Oh it's Avery... it's Ho-hohah, that was it. It's the other way. So it's Avery Hoskins and Billy Hoskins. But they kept just referring to them as Hoskins.
45:24 Kyle: *****
Keith: It's Hoskins' far--or Hoskins' Mine, 'n Hos--and it's like, whose is it? Is it the dad's or is it the son? I don't know. I found it very...
Eamon: I still... I'm not sure if that's correct.
Keith: ... confusing.
Kyle: I don't think it's Billy Hoskins'.
Keith: I think it is.
Kyle: I don't think so. I think he just works there.
Keith: *ponderously* I think... I think it's the son.
Eamon: But is one of them... is that actually his son?
Keith: I think so.
45:44 Eamon: Avery Hoskins?
Kyle: I don't think so.
Keith: I think so.
Kyle: I don't think so.
Keith: I think so.
Kyle: False. Alright--
Keith: I'm gonna find it! We're gonna find out by the end of this episode! *laughter*
45:50 Kyle: Yeah. Readers, write in! Is ***** ard Billy actually--
Keith: This is why this episode is confusing!
Kyle: The entire--*****
Eamon: Why was it even confused as to why he's trying to kill Sara in the first place. Like, that's confusing...
Kyle: W--it's not revealed until later, so--
Keith: Let's power on!
46:03 Kyle: We gotta skip through this. Let's eat this turd sandwich. Ah, so basically they manage to... he wants to just shoot her, but Mac comes up and like, clotheslines him, basically. *Eamon and Keith make agreeing noises* So we move on. They manage to get to this ridge that they need to physically climb up; it's a very perilous climb which you'd never know from the way they shoot it--**Eamon: Nope!**--because there're all these like, action shots that's clearly just like someone lying down on the ground--*Keith laughs*--Like, it feels like they're, they're like "Come on, you can make it!" It feels like there are no stakes.
Eamon: There's lots of close-ups of Mac's sneakers. **Kyle: Yeah.** Like, on the rocks. *laughter* And this, this climbing sequence is like, two minutes.
Keith: Oh, it's really long.
Kyle: Oh God it's so long. Bless the padding. While they're on this, Avery figures out where they're going, and he orders Billy to go like, up top on the ridge, like with some climbing gear to beat 'em there, cuz "We got 'em from both ends now!" Darkness 19.
Keith: *laughing* Mac and Charlie and Sara need to spend the night, essentially, on the ridge. Right?
Keith: Because I guess, because they can't go up? Is that... like, their climb got halted by this.
Kyle: But they can't go down either--**Keith: Right.**--cuz Avery's at the bottom, Billy's at the top.
Keith: So, they're just kind of hanging out.
Eamon: Well, Mac notices that the baby has something like... a ring around her lips, or something?
Keith: Yeah, like a rash.
Kyle: An allergic reaction to some berries. **Eamon: Yeah.** **Keith: Right.** Which we come to find out.
Keith: Which we know from Duncan tracking earlier. He saw some like, berries were picked. That's how he was able to find Sara. He's like "Ooh, someone picked berries."
Eamon: Oh there's a funny bit... going back to berries for a moment.
Keith: Oh, good!
Kyle: It's one of the few funny bits!
Eamon: Where, like, Charlie was about to eat some berries, and it almost seems like it was improvised. Mac was like, "Oh no, don't eat those, they're poisonous!"
47:38 Keith: *giggling* Oh, yeah! That's right!
Eamon: Then he's like, "Just kidding!" *laughter*
47:44 Kyle: So, but it turns out the baby is in fact, allergic to these berries. And somehow this is all the clue Duncan needs...
Keith: Yeah. So he starts asking some more questions. He's like "When's..." was it Jamie, is the name? --the baby's birthday?
Keith: And, like, what color are his eyes? And she's like, "They're brown. No, they're--they're blue!" And I guess she's says some, like, Indian stuff at... this... point. Like--
Kyle: And Mac speaks that lan--whatever language they're speaking.
Keith: Right. And so--I guess she's calling the baby by a different name. **Eamon: Mm.** She's calling it uh... by... Amshin? I don't know. Apparently it's a girl's name. But it's a boy. So that's how he know that, like--
48:20 *****Kyle: Hoho dear readers.
Keith: --something's up.
Kyle: So, it turns out... and she just decides to blurt this out now: the baby... HER baby, is not this baby. Her actual baby died from mercury poisoning, from the mine, the same way those eighteen head of cattle did. And then Billy, like, tried to give her $30,000 to keep it quiet.
Eamon: Which she burned.
Kyle: Which she burned--
Keith: It was $10,000, right?
Kyle: $10,000, which she burned on her baby's grave. And then--
Eamon: Which... is insane.
Kyle: Which is literally insane. *laughter*
Keith: Also, uh--
Kyle: Why don't you just say "I don't want your money"?
Kyle: Why do you take it and then burn it?
Keith: Oh sure, I'll take it!
Kyle: THEN she just decides then to steal AVERY'S baby, for... reasons? I don't know. Why does she steal Avery's baby? What's the s--
Keith: I think because SHE believes that Avery knew about all of this, and so it's like reven--It's like, "You knew this was happening, like, you're directly involved in killing my baby, so I get your baby now." But I would also like to say that Billy needs to hire some sort of business manager, because to keep Sara quiet, he now gave her $10,000, so like, he's got this $30,000 mine. He's already given 10 away, so he's got 20 left. He's killed 27 thou-like, you're in the hole! *laughter*
Kyle: He's gotta turn this around. *wheezelaugh* Who knows? There might be more ore in there. You never know.
Keith: I should have made a spreadsheet for this episode.
Kyle: Yeah. That's really what this epis--that would have made this episode more interesting: spreadsheets.
Kyle: That's about how interesting this is.
Eamon: We'll post a spreadsheet to our Facebook page, and you can download it. *laughter* To track your OWN ore value, and cow values! *wheezelaugh*
Kyle: What's the... what's the IRR on this gold mine operation? *laughing* Eamon: Is this like the end of Trading Places--
Keith: *laughing* Trading Places?
Eamon: --where Mac and Charlie go to the stock market to bet on--
Keith: Pig bellies?
Eamon: --pig bellies? Yeah. Cattle--
Keith: Oranges. I'm sorry.
Kyle: It was oranges.
Eamon: Cattle heads 'n ore? Anyway...
Keith: It's a good Philly movie, guys. One of the best.
Eamon: It is.
Kyle: Some things age very strangely in it, but... *Keith laughs* ... that's a topic for later! It is a movie with lots of blackface in it.
Eamon: Yeah, I forgot about that. *Agreeing noises*
Kyle: Yeah! Lest we forget.
Eamon: But! Eddie Murphy in that movie is a Karate man much like Adrian Paul.
Keith: OH yeah! That's a great scene!
50:30 Eamon: Yeah. *Keith laughs* He ***** on the inside. Anyway--
50:32 🎶 Princes of the Universe! 🎶
Kyle: "There can be only FUN! *Keith and Eamon laugh.* With Highlander: The Card Game! An Immortal's endless quest to survive is no game! Unless the outcome of the life and death is determined by the luck, or unluck, of the cards! In Highlander: The Card Game, the epic struggle switches from the screen to your tabletop in exciting and suspense-filled action! See why THOUSANDS of Highlander fans worldwide have assumed the persona of their favorite Immortal, then immersed themselves in the deep strategy of warfare--*laughter*--in an effort to keep their heads and collect the ever-valuable Quickening cards! Cool-headed strategy, wily skills, and a little Lady Luck are needed to survive the relentless assaults--" *wheezelaugh* *much more laughter*
Kyle: "--the relentless assaults. Filled with hidden attacks, seductions! **Keith: Ooh!** Power-blows, and mortal wounds! AND, of course, in the end, there can be only one. Each limited edition card feature--"
Kyle: That's how it's written. *cackling laughter*
Kyle: "--each limited edition card FEATURES a different classic image from the epic Highlander Series--**Eamon: Hmm!**--and the original feature film, making this not just a game, but a true collector's item as well. Perfect for a Highlander fan who loves games, or anyone who THRILLS over the excitement of a good sword duel!" *laughter*
Kyle: Parenthetical, minus the mess of the beheading. End Parenthetical.
Keith: *wheezelaughter* Is that--
Kyle: High--"Highlander the Game will be certain to monopolize your Gatherings for centuries to come."
Keith: They needed a copy editor, man. That's a LOT.
Kyle: This is the MOST over-written game description I have ever read and, spoiler alert, I read a lot of game descriptions. This is--pwah. Doesn't even tell you anything about how the game play works!
52:39 *****Eamon: That's a novella! Did Steve Martin write that?
Keith: How much does this ap--what do you get and how much does it cost?
Kyle: Well it depends on what kind of set you want, my friend!
Keith: The big one. Gimme the big one!
Kyle: You want "The Big One!"
Eamon: Give me the big one.
Kyle: Alright, that's... if I were to
Keith: The Darkness 29: Give Me Th--
Eamon: *losing it* Give Me The Big One! *laughing*
*laughter continues a bit*
Kyle: Uh... High... "Highlander! The Card Game Deluxe! For up to four players--"
Kyle: --"includes 280 randomly selected cards from our pool of over 300 different cards. Plus four 55-card decks, four 15-card booster packs, an illustrated rulebook, the Collector's Checklist, four playing mats, and two Highlander Trading Cards available only with this game."
Keith and Eamon: Ooooh!
Kyle: How much do you think that cost?
Keith: Um... I'm gonna say... 69.95.
Kyle: Also, I made myself a liar. Cuz there's something more expensive.
Keith: OOohh! What could that be?
Kyle: "Highlander: The Card Game Collector's Tin. A complete set of the original television, each identified as coming from the Collector's Edition."
Keith: What is this set...?
Kyle: "Includes unique Highlander Collector's Tin with all 165 cards of the original set. 8 cards found nowhere else. **Eamon: Oo!** Duplicates of the basic cards needed to play, 250 cards in all. Expanded set of rules for easy play; certificate of authenticity."
Keith: A Certificate of Authenticity?!
Kyle: How much do you think that is?
54:08 *****Kyle: Holy balls.
Eamon: Gaah! That's about how many Pokémon there are! Phhh.
Kyle: Not--not anymore!
Eamon: Oh that's true. I'm showing my age.
Kyle: *fakesnide* Oh you haven't played Pokémon XY?!
Keith: Oh, boy.
Keith: Well that's interesting, I suppose.
Kyle: Is it? *Eamon laughs* As a guy who loves games, this sound is--unscrutable and unplayable. So... I'm--I'm excited to be proven wrong about that. 54:36 *****Kyle says something buried under Keith's next words, and Eamon says something in the midst. Keith: I've only heard--I've heard very good things about the game, but I don't think this is--does a good--
Keith: Like it just sounds so over-wrought, like--
Eamon: It sounds gay.
Keith: --that it sounds like they're covering up for something.
Eamon: Yeah. Also it sounded like they were gonna quote Yu-Gi-Oh! in that initial description.
54:48 🎶 Princes of the Universe! 🎶
54:53 Keith: So, Mac climbs down the ridge to essentially confirm, I guess, the suspicion he has. He ambushes Avery--
Kyle: Who is suddenly very even-keeled. **Keith: Yeah!** **Eamon: Yeah.** Like, Avery earlier was like, you know something about this? Let me shoot you instantly! *laughing Yeahs* And now, he honestly--like he--
Keith: I think it was the--Billy that was shooting. I think Avery was like, "Oh, don't shoot 'im! Like, he knows where the baby is!" So maybe he's been kinda--I don't wanna say even-keeled, but like, they are hunting a woman down across the wilderness!
Kyle: With guns. **Keith: Yeah.** And, at this point, he has been led to believe that Mac is the one who killed the cowman!
Keith: So, Avery's mad coz he thinks Mac killed Luke. But then Mac's like, "I didn't," and he says "Are you telling me my brother's a liar?"
Kyle: Aaah, so Billy is his brother.
Keith: Billy's, I guess, the younger brother. **Eamon: I see.** And perhaps more age-appropriate partner to Sara.
Eamon: Yeah. *laughter* But then we also find out that Hoskins'... Avery Hoskins' wife died during childbirth...?
Kyle: So he's very attached to this baby, I guess.
Kyle: He wants... he wants that baby!
Eamon: And Mac just is like "Oh, I have no reason to lie. I didn't kill Luke," and Avery just believes him.
Kyle: It's like--
Eamon: For whatever reason.
Kyle: It's like really? I'm pretty sure people who kill other people have every reason to lie.
Keith: Yeah. Hahahaha.
Kyle: To conceal the fact that they've killed another human being, I'm going to go ahead and say that among motives, it's among the top! *laughter*
56:10 Keith: Uh, so at some point Mac's like, "Grief can make a man go crazy. It'd do the **Kyle speaks with him** same for a woman." *exasperated laughter*
Kyle: It's nuts. Also, he literally hunted you through the willer--wilderness, he slashed your tires. He hunted you with dogs. We're not talking about a good guy here. **Eamon: Yeah.** **Keith: No.** And all of a sudden everyone's just like, alright! Yeah, well, this whole situation's been put to bed.
Eamon: This could have happened, like--initially!
Kyle: Yeah! It's like, "Remember when Mac tried to talk to you initially?" Also, they even tease that this is coming. Cuz she doesn't WANT him to... Mac to talk to Avery in the beginning. She says like, "He lies!" like--
Kyle: --and no lying happens, only shooting happens--**Eamon: Yeah.**--is all that happens. This entire thing is weirdly out of order and bizarre.
56:51 Keith: So the next morning, Billy comes down, and I guess he's gonna ambush Charlie and kill Sara.
Eamon: Yeah, he has all this mountain-climbing equipment.
Keith: Yeah. So again, I guess the--the only reason he wants to kill Sara is to shut her up about the mine.
Kyle: The mercury.
Keith: The mercury. Right.
Kyle: The Freddy Mercury mine.
Keith: So he--*wheezelaughs* (What is that strange background noise?) 57:11 *****Kyle: Here we are! Born to mine ore! *others laugh* We're the miners of this episode!
***** Here comes the cattle!
Kyle: Oh, shit.
57:24 Keith: So, he BASHES Charlie in the face with the butt of a gun. *****
Kyle: He really decks him!
Keith: Like, it's like, Oh, I think he's dead! *giggles*
Kyle: Sorry, Charlie!
Eamon: His like, head hits a rock, like...
Kyle: Avery is now at the bottom of the ridge, and he kind of sees this going on...
Keith: And so he fires like a warning shot. Right? And he's like, "Billy! Stop!"
Eamon: And he just kills Billy. Billy don't stop.
Kyle: Then he just... then he kills his own brother.
Keith: Yeah, cuz I guess Billy's like, nope! And he's gonna like, tries to wrestle with Sara, and so he shoots his brother. And then we get a really good dummy fall--**Eamon: Yeah!**--which is awesome!
Kyle: Oh, it's quite good.
Keith: Bounces down the mountain.
Kyle: It's among the best! *laughter*
57:59 Keith: So I guess they throw down... does Mac go to the top of the r--I don't know.
Kyle: So then Mac--
Eamon: Yeah Mac like, climbs back up.
Kyle: Yeah, so, cuz we're not out of the woods yet. **Keith: Right.** Sara's thinking that she does not wanna give this baby up, so she's considering leaping off the ridge--
Keith: Oh! Right!
Kyle: Becoming her own dummy. *laughter*
Keith: Uh, so they have a really good conversation here. I wanna play a clip because I have some thoughts on this.
Sara: *whispers to baby* I know.
Duncan: Who will remember her if you go? Who will sing her song? *Sara utters sounds of deep pain behind clenched lips*
58:30 Keith: Here we go.
Duncan: Was she like you, Sara? Was she beautiful?
Sara: Yeah. She was.
58:45 ***** Eamon: Charlie's...
Duncan: All babies are. They give us hope, Sara. They give us a promise of better things to come.
Keith: So-- *Sara's sound of pain camera is focused on baby's face* *laughs* So MY favorite thing--
58:55 Ky: Pause the face!
Eamon: The baby face?
Kyle: It's amazing! The baby's like, "Yo, put me dooown!" *laughter*
59:03 Keith: Alright. So, in my mind, and this is obviously not quite what's happening, but in my mind, this is really what this scene is playing out. So, Sara is going to kill herself and the baby. Duncan is trying to talk her down. This is very serious. He's like, "You can't do that. Who's gonna live for your baby?" Then we switch modes into "I'm gonna hit on you." And he's like, "You know, baby's beautiful just like you are," like, and I was "Oh, cool!" And then he starts negging her, and he's like "But all babies are beautiful." And I'm like "Ohohoh!" That's the journey this dialogue takes for me.
Kyle: It's a Richie Ryan schtick!
59:36 Eamon: It's the ***** game.
Kyle: It's like, "Hey, are you in jeopardy?"
Eamon: The Game.
Keith: With uh... Michael Douglas?
Eamon: No, the book, The Game. It teaches you how to... heh.
Kyle: It teaches you how to be a piece of shit.
Keith: Oh, yeah!
Eamon: It teaches you how to be human garbage. *Kyle laughs* Also they like, the cuts to Charlie, it doesn't look like he's in the same universe. He's just like--
59:55 *****Kyle: He's clearly another--
59:57 Keith: *cackles* Oh yeah! He's staring bl--like he clearly has a concussion, right?
Eamon: Yeah! That's what it is. He has a concussion.
1:00:02 *****Kyle: blab a vacant stare!
Eamon: He's literally just staring forward, blinking! That's because seconds ago his skull was bashed in by Billy.
Keith: Why, why is... why are there even Charlie reaction shots? Like he was just knocked out!
Eamon: Yeah. I don't know.
Keith: Just le--just leave 'im! **Eamon: Yeah.** Like, just let him be knocked out for the scene! But this--this is--
1:00:19 *****Kyle: Move on!
Keith: But now we have to get these dumb reaction shots...
1:00:23 Eamon: Yeah, yeah. **Keith: Oh boy.** But this development is disturbing, but you know, she doesn't jump off the bem.
Keith: So now we get--
Kyle: Everything's just totally fine now.
1:00:29 Keith: Yeah. So now this is the wrap-up to the episode, which is VERY civil. Like--
Kyle: And very sudden.
Keith: Yeah. So--
Eamon: And like, Avery and Mac seem like they have respect for one another now?
Keith: *amazed* Yeah!
Eamon: It's like: This man's a maniac! *Keith bursts into laughter*
Kyle: These people are... these people are ALL monsters. Like, they're like "I'm not gonna press any charges." "YOU'RE not gonna press any charges? You killed a guy! A guy is dead, and he's your brother. All these people are like, monstrous. Neither of them should be, like, within ten feet of a baby!
Eamon: Yeah! Phht!
Kyle: Like, let alone in a custody dispute for one.
Eamon: Both of these people should be serving some type of, like, prison sentence, or something. *Keith laughs*
Kyle: It's like, cuz like really Sara? The way you endangered that baby, literally is criminal!
Eamon: Also, the baby's still like, having an allergic reaction to the berries, like--
Keith: *laughing* Oh yeah!
Kyle: It's about to go into anaphylactic shock--**Eamon: Yeah.**--so... there's that.
Kyle: The baby that you stole, and essentially killed in a truck, and then traipsed through twenty miles of--of hard walkin'...
Eamon: And oddly enough poisoned... *laughs*
Kyle: Yeah. Insane. These people... belong in jail!
Eamon: Yup, but no--
Kyle: Also, HE SHOT YOUR CAR and slashed your tires. *Eamon laughs*
Keith: Oh yeah! *sighs* Man, what a mess. 1:01:42 So Avery closes the mine, he says--
Eamon: Also, two men are--
Keith: --which is a smart business move cuz it's bleeding money--
Kyle: Yeah, as we've established. It's not making money and it's poisoning the Washington wilderness.
Eamon: *firmly* Also, two men are dead.
Keith: People are gonna look into this. **Eamon: Yeah.** Presumably.
1:01:55 *****Kyle: Hi. Keith: Or is there more criminal activity and *****evidence being buried in the wilderness?
Keith: Uh, so that's it. They shake--
Eamon: OH! They put... they put the bodies in the mine.
Keith: Oh, yeah! And then blow it up! *laughter*
Kyle: And they blow it up, yeah.
Eamon: There you go.
Kyle: Why else have a mine?
1:02:07 Keith: They shake hands. Mac gets in the car with Charlie. They drive away. This is also a classic Highlander episode that ends with that, like, kind of silly...**Eamon: Mmhm.** I call it like, best-friends-forever music. Ba-badum, badada boop. And it's like that... when was the last time they used it? It was in an episode with Richie...
Eamon: It was the Piton, right?
Keith: Piton! Yeah, like Duncan just murdered one of his best friends--
Kyle: And was crying!
Keith: And was crying, and then in the next episode they giggle on the barge, and it's like "Bum, baba, bababa bum."
Eamon: I have a correction to make, Keith. **Keith: Yes?** They do not drive away.
Keith: Oh. They just get in the car and it stops?
Eamon: The jeep breaks down again.
Keith: OH that's right! Ah hah!
Keith: Oh and that's it. So...
Keith: I think, before we talk about this episode, I'd like to hear a little bit from Bill Panzer, on...
Kyle: Does HE have a spreadsheet on this? *laughter*
Keith: Let's hear from Bill Panzer on HIS thoughts on "Bless the Child."
1:02:58 Bill Panzer: You're shooting episodic television, directors alternate. While one director is shooting, another director is prepping. In this case, we decided that Clay could do it without prepping.
*Rewatchers burst into laughter.*
Bill: So, basically, Clay went from "Color of Authority" to "Bless This Child" **pblbltt** with no real prep. Yes, he would have meetings at night and he would--
Eamon: "Bless This Child" is what he said.
Bill: --approve wardrobe and this and that, but basically the show was cast and prepped by the producer Ken Gord, and line producer Brent Claxton. Steve Geaghan was the art director, he took care of all of that stuff and by then everybody had huge confidence in the guy--
Eamon: Huge. *snorting snicker*
Bill: --so most of the prep Clay got in on this show was done in the bar at the Sutton Place Hotel--
*Keith has hysterics*
Kyle: You can't tell. You can't tell at all.
Bill: --and, finally when it was done, when he was finished with Under Color of Authority, we just dropped him in the middle of the woods with the script and the actors and we said, well we'll see ya in six days.
Kyle: What... the fuck?!
Keith: Isn't that amazing?
Kyle: That's... UGH!
Eamon: Also, he called it "Bless This Child."
1:04:04 *****Eamon: *deeply gruff* Bless This, Child!
Kyle: *laughs* Yeah! Very good!
Keith: Sounds like a Christmas carol! "Bless This Child". Le--well, first, let's start there. Thoughts on the title?
Eamon: No. It's stupid.
Keith: "No." *laughs*
Kyle: Well y--it's about a child. It's fine. I guess.
Keith: I guess.
Kyle: I guess. Maybe--
Eamon: No blessing in this episode to speak of that I can discern.
Kyle: Maybe that's what she was doing when she burned the money. My burnt money offering.
1:04:25 Keith: So, I think this is probably the shortest Highlander script we've seen.
Kyle: There's so little dialogue--
Keith: Cuz there's so little--
Kyle: --there's so little anything.
Keith: --there's just nothing.
Kyle: You just get treated to a full view of everything. It's like... the entire thing must've just been strreetch--*Keith laughs*--strreetch...
Eamon: Intense climbing action.
Keith: *slowly* I personally think this episode is worse than The Zone. For me.
Keith: I think it... it makes less sense to me. This seems just like... I mean, The Zone is pretty lousy, but this... I found this episode, again, confusing. Like, who's related to who, cuz again I, I don't know, I thought--
Eamon: This one's like--
Keith: --Avery was the grandfather. Or something.
Eamon: --boring, though. This--this--**Keith: Yeah.**--yeah. I mean...
Kyle: Well you thought that because that's what she says. She says Avery's the grandfather. That's her story.
Keith: OH! Maybe that's why it's confusing.
Kyle: But she's really the father.
Keith: See, that makes it harder to--like, it's like there's these weird competing things, it's hard to track--
Kyle: There're lies within lies... *Keith laughs* Inception deception.
Keith: And also, do we think that Avery was really a racist? There's like a really cooked up accusation that he's racist; and that almost all of them are, I suppose.
Eamon: I dunno. I wouldn't be surprised if he was. *Keith laughs*
Kyle: Yeah it's just the... that's just the problem at the end.
Keith: He is letting them--her live with them.
Eamon: Is he?
Keith: I assume that she lived in that house with all of them. Like, oh they all lived together. *giggles start* I don't know!
Eamon: It's like a boarding house?
Kyle: Or did she sneak in the night and steal the baby?
Kyle: Ooh, like a burglar!
Keith: Wait, oh but wait! Hold on.
Kyle: Baby burglar. *moment of silence*
Eamon: Baby burglar...
Kyle: Baby on....
Eamon: ...burg... lar.
Keith: Wait. Whose... hold on, hold on. Holdohahan. **Kyle: Shhhh!** So, it's Avery's baby--
1:05:59 *****Kyle: We're not gonna crack this tonight--
Keith: Nonononono we're gonna--we have to do this! Hold on, hold on! So, it's Avery's... Avery Hoskins. Ed Lauter. **Eamon: Mmhm.** The older gentleman with the cowboy hat. **Eamon: Yes.** The owner of the ranch and mine. **Eamon: Yes.** His wife... **Eamon: Yes.** He's mar--he was married. **Eamon: Mmhm.** Very recently, she died--**Eamon: Yes.**--like, maybe months ago, in childbirth. Right? **Kyle: Indeed.** Okay. Sara... Sara Lightfoot... has a baby, I would say at the same time, whose baby is that?
Kyle: That... is... I assume she really was married to his son.
Kyle: No. Billy's the brother.
Eamon: Oh right.
Keith: So, she's married to Billy--
Kyle: No. Billy's the brother.
Eamon: Billy's his brother.
Kyle: Billy is Avery's brother.
Keith: Right. So who--
Eamon: But we don't meet his--we don't meet his son. His son's not a character.
Kyle: His son is... dead.
Eamon: Oh no it was the brother killed.
Kyle: God dammit g--alright--*laughter *****1:06:49 what is Keith saying?* I'm... here we go. I'm breaking this down.
Eamon: I hope so!
Kyle: Let's fuck. SO, Avery Hoskins: head honcho, cowboy hat. **Keith: Yeah.** He's got a wife. **Keith: Right.** Has a baby. **Keith: Right.** Wife dies in childbirth. **Keith: Right.** Avery's brother is Billy, villain of the episode. **Keith: Mmhm.** Knows about the mercury poisoning, suppressing this fact. **Keith: Right.** Avery has another son, who is older, who is married to... Sara. **Keith: Right.** They have a baby. That baby dies of mercury poisoning.
Eamon: But if that's the case, where is this son?
Keith: Is... is ah--hold on. Maybe I've been confused!
Kyle: The son, she says from the beginning, her son is--the son is dead.
Keith: Okay. Also is it possible I guess that Sara is of NO relation to them?
Kyle: That would be weird. That's like a weird detail--
Keith: I mean is that why this is getting confusing, it's cuz we're thinking she's related. Like--
Kyle: I think--
Keith: --does she live somewhere else, like live next door, and she is breaking in in the midd--I don't aaargh, you guys, this is the question of the week! Write us in--Oh I know, Zack O's probably all over this already, he's been graphing this thing. I want to know how this breaks down: Family tree: Season 1 Episode 2, of Sara Lightfoot and the Hoskin family. How's this all work? Right? This is co--it's confusing!
Eamon: It is! I think--
Kyle: I think I--
Keith: We should not have this much trouble--
1:08:00 Eamon: I think Kyle just made it *****
Kyle: I think I nailed it. Alright. Guys, write in and tell me how right I am. *laughter*
Eamon: I forgot about the something. *laughs*
Keith: It's unnecessarily complicated.
Eamon: Write us in an essay, 500 words, about how Kyle is right...
Keith: Well I mean it's fine that she lied, I don't think they ever cleared up exactly...
Eamon: It's confusing is the bottom line.
Keith: And again, I think it is also very confusing because it's Hoskins, and it's like, "Oh it's Hoskins' baby!" And it's like there's TWO Hoskins. Like, when she keeps... I think that was very confusing. So let's talk about the Watcher Chronicles!
Kyle: So like this episode deserves a shot, right? *reluctant noises*
Keith: Alright, I'll read ONE Watcher Chronicle. This is Duncan's Chronicle from the 1920--er, 1932 New Year's Eve-thing.
1:08:38 Keith: Whatever it is. "MacLeod has been spending a lot of time lately in the company of Miss Nora Fontaine, a woman of liberal dress and even more liberal morals. She is, without a doubt, the embodiment of the term 'Flapper'. Miss Fontaine is the daughter of shipping mogul Myron Fontaine, and a frequent topic of the Society Pages. On New Year's Eve, Miss Fontaine and MacLeod barely escaped making the front page, but they managed to leave an alcohol-drenched party one step ahead of the police--"
That's false! The police left before they did! *Eamon laughs*
Kyle: They managed to hide in a closet one step ahead of the police! *laughter*
1:09:12 Keith: "--there to raid it for violations of the Volstead Act. Yours truly, I might add, was not so lucky." *laughter* So I guess this Watcher was there and got arrested! "You will be receiving the invoices for the bail-bondsman and lawyer with this month's expenses."
Eamon: WE will? We're receiving them?
Kyle: *laughing* Yeah. Us personally.
Keith: Us personally, yes! What was the last episode? Under Color of Authority, right? **Eamon: Mmhm.** This is the second episode in a row about a lying woman. **Eamon: Yeah.** Isn't that weird?
Kyle: Oooh, yeah.
Eamon: Well that's the thing I was talking about before, where all the episodes usually have some type of weird connection...**Keith: Yeah.**... like every two episodes, I don't know.
Kyle: Yeah, that's messed up.
Keith: Yeah, it's kind of weird. I don't know.
Kyle: What? You're saying Highlander doesn't have that healthy a portrayal of women on this show? *laughter*
Eamon: *ferociously* The DEVIL you say! *laughter*
1:09:55 Keith: So, before we close out this episode, we wanted to start um, maybe playing some games on this show. **Eamon: Ooooh!** We thought it would be a fun, fun activity! So...
Kyle: Well, it's gotta be more fun than this episode.
Keith: Absolutely. Hahah!
Eamon: I think anything would be more fun than this episode.
Kyle: These spreadsheets are definitely going to be more fun than this episode.
Keith: You guys.... We're gonna play a new game, everyone can play along at home.
1:10:14 ***** Kyle: We have to guess the abita of the uh--
Keith: Oh, we need a name for this game. So either we should come up with it now, or... write us in and tell us what this game's called, cuz... I don't know. I'm just calling this "IMDb Keywords"! So, if you go on IMDb and look at the episodes, everything on IMDb has like, keywords to help people search out stuff. So, what I'm gonna do is, I have brought together a couple episodes from--only the episodes we've watched, obviously, up until this point; and assigned their keywords points in backwards order. From the least relevant, to the most relevance. So, the least relevant will have the highest point value. The most relevant will have a low point value. Uh... so! You guys--you're competing together at the same time. I'm gonna read these keywords slowly, and whenever you know the episode, say it, and you get that amount of points. And whoever's got the most points in three rounds wins!
Kyle: It's a keyword Quickening.
Keith: Alright. You guys ready? *gameshowmusic*
1:11:07 Keith: Alright. Here we go. Round 1! I almost said the name of the episode to announce the round! Hahah. *phht* Alright! Round 1! 18th Century.... 1790s.... 19th Century.... 1800s.... The year 1803....
Kyle: Oh SHIT. Aaah...
Keith: ... womanizer.... jewel-thief....
Kyle: Oh! Uh, Eye of the Beholder.
Eamon: *whispers* Damnit
Eamon: I can't remember the names of the episodes!
1:11:38 Keith: --Kyle gets six points for... guessing on jewel-thief! The rest of the clues were: fashion model--** *****Kyle: There you go.**--cold-blooded killer, *laughter* These keywords are just also amazing, like, if you follow these, so good! Former friend, sword and sorcery, **Eamon: What?** and fashion designer.
Eamon: *low voice* Sword and sorcery?
Keith: Alright, so Kyle's got six points in Round 1. Alright. You guys ready for... Round 2?
Eamon: I'm ready!
1:12:07 Kyle: *****
Keith: Alright. Here we go!
19th century! *amused*
Eamon: Oh my God.
Keith: They're all kind of like that. 1840s. Gypsy woman.
Eamon: *softly* Oh...
Keith: Palmist--Yup! The Darkness! 5 points! The rest of the clues are palmistry, marriage proposal, single--*burst of laughter and ouches* which, I guess, kind of happens at the END of the episode! And CURSE!
Eamon: That's harsh.
Keith: So Kyle! You have a total of five points for that round and six for the other, for a total of ELEVEN. **Eamon: Mmmmm.** Eamon, you gotta pull it out!
Eamon: *amused chuckle* I'm... discovering I'm bad at remembering the episode titles.
Keith: There are a grand total of six points in this round, so...! *laughing*
Kyle: So... see ya, Eamon!
1:12:47 Keith: Alright, here we go guys!
*****Kyle: A work in progress!
Keith: Last round! Yup. Alright. 17th century!
Eamon: *whispers* Oh my God.
Keith: Se--1620s! ... Scotland! *laughs* Fake relative!
01:13:04 Eamon: Shit Family Tree!
Kyle: Nicely done!
Keith: Yes! Uh, the next one was--
1:13:08 Kyle: I couldn't come up with the name of that episode, cuz that's weird *****
Eamon: It's hard.
Keith: *Scottish accent* "Where do I come from?!"
Keith: Yeah, so th--
Keith: *SA* "Where do I come from?"
Keith: *whispers* Hey man. You ever feel like you're... you know, one of those Russian nesting dolls? And then you open the one up, it's just got another one in it. And another one. Just keep going. Inside, it's... all empty inside. Hey, you wanna get a hotdog, Richie? *Eamon laughs*
Kyle: Yeah but the diamond! The diamond's important!
Keith: Oh, yeah. Uh, so the other clues were sword and sorcery, and the number one clue was a--a
Kyle: There were no swords in that episode.
Keith: Yeah you're right! *Eamon chuckles* Uh, the number one clue was adoption!
Keith: So Eamon, you get, uh, three points! **Eamon: Oh, yeah!** So, for a total of three to eleven! Kyle you're the winner of that game!
Eamon: Three eleven?
Keith: Three eleven! *laughs*
Eamon: Congratulations, Kyle.
Keith: Well I hope--
Eamon: Does Kyle get a prize? *Keith sighs.*
Kyle: I get the warm glow of victory.
Keith: Yeah, the satisfaction of...
Eamon: --Beating me.
Keith: --the enemy's spilled blood! **Kyle: Yeah.** Is any other thoughts on this episode, guys, before we wrap up?
Kyle: No! *amused*
Eamon: I'm gonna have trout and jam for breakfast.
Kyle: That actually is the most appealing thing about this episode.
Keith: Someone made a funny comment on Facebook, which I thought was interesting. Shout-out to Jill for making this comment that I thought was interesting that she said this episode "Charlie is just reading Richie's lines." Do we think there might be truth to that? I mean, Richie is pretty v--like, absent during this season. **Eamon: Yeah.** And do we--do we think that his lines make more sense for Richie? **Eamon: Yeah!** Or, does it not matter?
Eamon: I don't know.
Kyle: I mean it wouldn't be good either way. **Keith: Yeah.** **Eamon: Yeah.** Would it be better, I don't know.
1:14: 41 Eamon: I feel--**Kyle: Like--**--his behavior kind of is more Richie-ish, in this episode. Richie-ish? Richie-ish.
Kyle: And it also has his MO, which is a lady in distress for him to hit on.
Keith and Eamon: Oh yeah! **Keith: Oooh.**
Eamon: That's a good point.
Kyle: Ya know.
Keith: That makes a lot of sense. In like the--
Eamon: The "I don't do diapers" thing, seems more like a Richie-thing than a Charlie-thing to me.
Keith: Yeah. Also, Charlie's like, under-utilized in this episode. Again, Charlie is a Marine, like he's got Special Ops training. Like, this feels like he's... he's almost helpless.
Eamon: He climbs that tree. He climbs that tree.
Keith: He does climb that tree.
Kyle: Yeah, that would make more sense if it was Richie.
Keith and Eamon: Yeah.
Eamon: Poor Richie.
Kyle: I still like Charlie!
Keith: Oh, Charlie's great!
Kyle: Charlie does a good job in this episode, too. Like, I think he--
Keith: I don't think this is UNbelievable as Charlie. Like, him and Mac have a funny relationship together--
Kyle: And I think he like, sends in as good as a performance as you're likely to get out of this episode. So, you know!
Eamon: Today, playing the role of Richie, is *Keith speaks too* Charlie DeSalvo!
1:15:33 Keith: *laughs* Well this has been pretty good, guys! Uh, glad--
Kyle: Has it?
Keith: Well, I've en--I actually real--I was so excited to talk about this episode. I don't know if anyone else was excited about the ore-thing. I think maybe I just got really jazzed up because I spent an hour looking up ore prices, **Eamon: *laughs* Ore!**--and all this shit! *amused sigh*
Eamon: Where do you go to look up ore prices, Keith? Ore.com?
Keith: I did spend a lot of time before I realized that I was looking at a canoe website. I was like, this ore-stuff is cheap!
Kyle: Yeah, this is so easy!
Keith: Like, 30 bucks, you get two!
Kyle: Next week on Highlander Rewatched, we'll be talking about monetizing silver! So... *laughter*
Keith: Alright. Well, thanks everyone for joining us! Uh, next week's episode I'm really excited about, it is Unholy Alliance!
Keith: --Colon (:) Part One! Dawn of--
Kyle: Dawn of Justice!
Keith: Dawn of Justice.
Eamon: Bless The Child, followed by Unholy Alliance...
Kyle: Mmm, Bless versus Unholy!
Keith: Ooh, you're right!
Kyle: Wasn't he also Vigo the Butch! *laughter* (Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters II)
Keith: Alright, thanks everybody for joining us! Um, oh also, before we go, just a reminder! That we are having a Highlander Reboot Competition! So! The rules of the competition are very simple! 500 words or less IN size 12 Font, let's not get crazy. I guess that doesn't matter if you have a--
Kyle: Font doesn't affect word-size.
Keith: Yeah, it doesn't. So... *Eamon laughs* Just don't send us e-mails with big fonts.
Kyle: Yeah, standard margins; make sure you double-space it. Do we have any other vor--formatting advice? It's gotta be in Times New Roman, right?
Keith: I'm more of a Helvetica man, myself. *Kyle laughs*
Eamon: Has to be that MLA format.
Kyle: Yeah, for all your citations.
Eamon: Yeah yeah. *laughing*
Keith: Anyway, whatever. 500 words of less, one-page reboot treatment of Highlander. What do you wanna see? Let us know. We're not reading them. We've actually got a number of submissions already. Which are--
Kyle: Which I'm very excited about.
Keith: Yeah. We're super excited about. And there will be an awesome prize at the end. We're gonna have some custom art from Eamon, our resident artist.
Eamon: That's right.
Keith: So just send those e-mails to firstname.lastname@example.org, and the deadline for the competition is the--I guess, end of Season 2. So, we're on Episode 13 right now, so we've got... you know, another couple to go!
Eamon: Yeah, you got some time, guys.
Kyle: You got a couple months, but it'll...
Keith: Nine... nine more...
Kyle: ...it'll sneak up on you.
Keith: It's two months, basically!
Eamon: Yeah. Yeah.
Kyle: So just remember: It's YOUR version of rebooting the original Highlander movie. What'd you wanna see; what would it be like; treat it like you're in a pitch-meeting and this is your chance to sell your vision.
Keith: Yep! And we're going to be doing a special bonus-episode as well, with us giving OUR treatment. So--
Eamon: Yeah yeah!
Keith: --it will be good! Well thanks everyone--
Kyle: There will be spreadsheets!
Keith: *laughs* Yeah. Oh, man, I'd love it!
Eamon: Bonus points if you send it to us AS a spreadsheet! That's a joke!
Keith: *laughs* Alright, well thanks everybody for listening to us! And we'll see ya next time!
Kyle: Thanks so much!
Keith: I'm Keith!
Kyle: This is Kyle!
Keith: I have Dean Wray as JJ. ... Who's JJ?
Eamon: JJ is one of the henchmen.
Keith: Is he really recognizable? I have on here it's his first IMDb credit.
Eamon: JJ is mentioned by Avery 42,000 times in the episode--*Keith laughs*--so he's notable in that way.
1:18:28 Eamon: I can't tell you what actor plays JJ.
Keith: I'm looking at him like, oh I took note of this, for no good reason.
Eamon: Every time--well every time Avery has the goons together, it's like, "Take JJ and go over the, like, hill or whatever!" *Keith laughs*
Kyle: Let's not--let's not spoil the--this episode. Let's take everything in its due course!
Eamon: That's right. Sorry guys.